+ i'm making you a coat of pink cashmere
Jan. 19th, 2026 07:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ffox(i am running out of sewing related journal titles)
today was blue monday. apparently that is a massive gimmick that was made up to sell holidays in 2005 to combat the "january blues". however, mind and samaritans use it to campaign to talk about mental health. so lets see. my mental health is very up and down. some days i wake up and am entirely satisfied with my life, and other days i want to starve myself into obsolescence. i read old open diary entries and i was the epitome of a manic pixie dream girl, and i was also clearly very mentally unwell and desparate for approval from any source. now i think i do not seek approval from anyone but myself, so that is a giant step forward. i still people please to a pathetic extent and suck at putting my foot down with a firm hand when it comes to my boundaries though.
work was okay today, we did lots of team building again and group training sessions. i spent the day slyly cross stitching at the same time and made huge amounts of progress. they asked us to share a photo from the last year when we went on holiday. lots of people abroad, saint kitts & nevis, fuertaventura, turkey etc. i showed a photo of the sculpture trail in the forest of dean, but i was so nervous i messed up and said it was the new forest, aka an entirely different geographic location. i also told the story of when i was a teenager and broke a ski lift by crashing into it. its a good job that i do not get embarrassed easily.
greek chicken for dinner (yum) and laura and i joked around for a bit before she went upstairs to watch transformers and i carried on with my sewing. it would appear that i have nearly finished it...
our internet is out of contract, and i am wondering about switching provider, but not sure if there would be an overlap? i can't afford (literally) to be without wifi now i WFH but i wouldn't mind saving a tenner a month. i also need to look into tax rebates for WFH.
this evening i watched a documentary on youtube called skint. its a multipart series, i believe set around 2005. i moan a lot about being broke, but these people are REALLY broke. most of it is obviously choice through drug addiction, but the raw poverty is really something to witness. i have never had to steal to survive, and i have always managed to have something to eat even if that is sometimes just pasta and cheese. i have always had a roof over my head, and clean clothes to wear. it just breaks my heart a bit, that these people were someone's baby once, and this is the hand life appears to have dealt them. it makes me feel much more grateful for the little life i have. and then i wonder why it takes something like that to make me feel grateful for what i have.
currently reading: assassin's apprentice
no spend days: six!
today was blue monday. apparently that is a massive gimmick that was made up to sell holidays in 2005 to combat the "january blues". however, mind and samaritans use it to campaign to talk about mental health. so lets see. my mental health is very up and down. some days i wake up and am entirely satisfied with my life, and other days i want to starve myself into obsolescence. i read old open diary entries and i was the epitome of a manic pixie dream girl, and i was also clearly very mentally unwell and desparate for approval from any source. now i think i do not seek approval from anyone but myself, so that is a giant step forward. i still people please to a pathetic extent and suck at putting my foot down with a firm hand when it comes to my boundaries though.
work was okay today, we did lots of team building again and group training sessions. i spent the day slyly cross stitching at the same time and made huge amounts of progress. they asked us to share a photo from the last year when we went on holiday. lots of people abroad, saint kitts & nevis, fuertaventura, turkey etc. i showed a photo of the sculpture trail in the forest of dean, but i was so nervous i messed up and said it was the new forest, aka an entirely different geographic location. i also told the story of when i was a teenager and broke a ski lift by crashing into it. its a good job that i do not get embarrassed easily.
greek chicken for dinner (yum) and laura and i joked around for a bit before she went upstairs to watch transformers and i carried on with my sewing. it would appear that i have nearly finished it...
this evening i watched a documentary on youtube called skint. its a multipart series, i believe set around 2005. i moan a lot about being broke, but these people are REALLY broke. most of it is obviously choice through drug addiction, but the raw poverty is really something to witness. i have never had to steal to survive, and i have always managed to have something to eat even if that is sometimes just pasta and cheese. i have always had a roof over my head, and clean clothes to wear. it just breaks my heart a bit, that these people were someone's baby once, and this is the hand life appears to have dealt them. it makes me feel much more grateful for the little life i have. and then i wonder why it takes something like that to make me feel grateful for what i have.
currently reading: assassin's apprentice
no spend days: six!
